Tolkinistiniai anekdotai

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Reik manyt, nepasibaigs ji stiklinėje...

"Variety" straipsnis balandžio pirmosios proga... neduodu nuorodos, o perkeliu jį čia, nes, bijau, jis netrukus dings... 😉
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"Frodo's a Prima Donna"
Post-Oscars, the cast of "Rings" comes clean

By Sonoma Williams


In an exclusive interview with Variety, Elijah Wood's fellow hobbits have decided to come forth with the truth about their much-lauded Ringbearer.
Contrary to images of smiling, happy hobbit actors at premiere and awards events for the last two-plus years, the real story, say Lord of the Rings cast members, is not so sunny.

"He's a d*ck," a decidedly un-Merry Dominic Monaghan says bluntly. "Every day on the set he just wouldn't stop acting like he owned the place. Everyone became his servant. 'Get me coffee,' 'Rub my back,' 'Can I use you as a footrest?' It was constant, unending labor for the rest of us. And we couldn't say a bloody thing about it because he was the star."

Frodo's faithful servant Sam, Sean Astin, concurs with Monaghan's assessment: "You know, I thought Sam had it bad, having to actually carry Frodo up that mountain and all, but Elijah, man..." The others groan in sympathy with him. "You want the truth? The truth is I got good at carrying him because I had to do it all the time. He kept complaining that his legs were too tired, or the rocks were poking through his hobbit feet and bothering him. Initially, I was happy to help out, but then he started acting like he was entitled to it. It made me sick. There's more, but I'll have it all in my book, which is coming out this fall."

Billy Boyd, who plays Pippin in the legendary trilogy, was even more candid. "Elijah, to me, personifies everything that's wrong about Hollywood child stars: pampered, rich, expects everything to just be handed to him. Doesn't believe anyone else is even human, I think. Everyone looks at poor, suffering Frodo up there onscreen and thinks he's just so sweet and innocent. Bollocks. Frodo's not innocent. Frodo's a Prima Donna, that's what he is." Even worse, says Boyd, is that Wood's outward charm and boyish good looks made people, especially women, seemingly blind to his true nature: "Oh, he'd pull twice what we did every night in the clubs. All he has to do is put on that cute puppy act and the girls go berzerk. He must have mowed through half the female population of Wellington, and I think he even slept with Peter's assistant. There was nothing left for the rest of us! There were times he'd show up late on-set because he'd been out all night carousing with barmaids and waitresses. And then he'd hit on the makeup girls the next morning!"

"Not to mention some of the stunt guys!" Astin interjects.

"I admit, I was fooled, too, at first," Monaghan says, hanging his head. "I mean, I really fell for the guy. I couldn't help it! He was just so vibrant and fun and someone I really wanted to be close to..." he trails off wistfully. "But that all changed when he realized what he could get out of us once he had us all sucked in with all that fake sweetness."

The filmmakers could not be reached for comment, but Orlando Bloom (Legolas), via a phone interview, had this to contribute: "Elijah, man. What can I say about him that hasn't already been written on bathroom walls, you know? I can't help but feel a little smug, though, that it looks like I've turned into the big star out of all of this, instead of that little prat. Ha! Eat Troy, Wood!"

Monaghan's girlfriend, a petite blonde named Datherine, pets him soothingly as he sums up the cast's feelings about the apparently obnoxious Wood: "It was misery. Eighteen months of misery. Now that all of the awards and premieres and all the publicity is finally over, we can all relax now. That wanker can go off and do whatever he wants, because none of us want to have anything to do with him anymore. Frankly, Elijah, I hope you read this. You can kiss my Manc arse!"

Žiauru....

Tai kad nejuokinga, deja. Baisi beskonybė ir šiaip šlykštu.

Et, Paukštuk... Tu ne moteris, to nesuprasi....

Na, man irgi beveik nejuokinga 🐻 Net pants buvo juokingiau. Turbūt todėl, kad paskutinysis humoras - ne tolkinistinis. (Ir Goblino vertimai man nelabai juokingi - būtų juokingiau, jei būtų iš tolkinisto, o ne tik paprasto postsovietinio humoristo, požiūrio taško).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...tik kai kas paimta is vienos rusikos ZV filmo parodijos ik nesupraskit mano zodziu klaidingai....

O man kažkaip nesukėlė jokių emocijų... Koks man skirtumas, ar Wood'as išnaudojo savo kolegas, ar ne

Ką tu turi omeny tai sakydama???

Volir rašė:Ką tu turi omeny tai sakydama???

Jei tai buvo skirta man, tai žinok, kad forume yra ir vienas kitas '-as'

oi UPS Reiškia Laiqualase yra tu(jis)sorry :D:D:D:D

Aha, esu 'jis', o balse pasibaigiantis nick'as to tikrai nekeičia

Čia papildytas variantas apie hobitus ir lemputes :P

How many hobbits does it take to change a light bulb?


One to complain that the light bulb isn't working,

Five to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it,

Twenty to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb mines of Mythrill,

Thirty to throw a going away party,

One to ask Gandalf for directions,

One to sell into slavery when the petty cash runs out,

Five to get lost through natural wastage (Bandits, murderers, monsters
etc),

One to throw to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb mine,

Two to carry the lightbulbs,

Five to find a large, sword-welding barbarian to escort the lightbulbs
home,

Thirty to throw a safe return party,

Five to find an elf tall enough to change the lightbulb,

Five to compose ballads of daring, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs,

Finally another two-hundred to appear in the subsequent Tolkien books.

Bukit kas nors geras žmo....,tfu, tolkinistas, išverskit, aš angliškai tiek kiek Balrogas elfiškai-nė bum bum....

Gerai, Coranar, dėl tavęs. Nieko, po kiek laiko šnekėsi angliškai kaip didelė

Kiek hobitų reikia pakeisti elektros lemputei?

Vieno, kad skųstųsi, jog lemputė nedega,

Penkių susitikti ir aptarti tolimesniems planams,

Dvidešimties ekspedicijai į garsiąsias Lemputės mitrilo kasyklas,

Trisdešimties atšvęsti išvykimą,

Vieno paklausti Gandalfą kelio,

Vieno, kad būtų ką parduoti vergijon, kai baigiasi pinigai,

Penkių atsargai - gal pasimes dėl natūralių priežasčių (t.y. banditų, hobitžudžių, pabaisų ir t.t.),

Vieno, kad būtų ką mestelėti drakonui, saugančiam Lemputės kasyklas,

Dviejų nešti lemputėms,

Penkių surasti dideliam kardu ginkluotam barbarui, kuris nugabentų lemputes namo,

Trisdešimties atšvęsti laimingą sugrįžimą,

Penkių surasti pakankamai aukštą elfą, kuris pakeistų lemputę,

Penkių sukurti baladėms apie drąsą, heroizmą, pasiaukojimą ir lemputes,

Ir galų gale kokių dviejų šimtų, kad būtų kam pasirodyti kitose Tolkieno knygose.

Dėkui, dabar turiu 2 išvertimus, nes Paukštukas buvo atsiuntęs AŽ. Įdomu, pagal ką čia-Hob ar ŽV?

Pagal sveiką humoro jausmą vis tiek hobitai elektros neturėjo.

Apie mane (t.y. apie Gollumą)
-Skani žuvytė,-džiaugėsi Gollumas lįsdamas į upę.
-Riebus Gollumėlis, - džiaugėsi piranjos.

Kam reikia ilgo gero žvengimo, tegu per kokią paieškos sistemą susiranda saitą "Mirusios pelkės", ten-"101 frazę, kurios niekada nepasakytų Viduržemio gyventojas", dar požymiai kad esi apsėstas Lotr, žvengimas garantuotas, man taaaip patiko.Ką tik skaičiau 5 kartą, bet visvien taip raičiausi nuo juoko, deja, nepamenu to saito adreso.

Naujieji metai. Ateina pas hobbitus Senelis Gendalfas. Pašoko, pavalgė...Pagaliau burtininkas atsistoja prie eglutes ir sako -Eglute užsidek. ... -Eglutė užsidek! vėl nieko -Eglute užsidek!!!!!! -Nu blyn viskas, bjaurybe!(kalba burtažodį)
Gaisrą gesino iki ryto...